Doc Mama Aint Gonna Git My Guns!

During a recent visit to my brother's house, he proudly broke out his new toy...an M4...seriously, click on the link and check out this gun. Although it was scary and totally strange to be holding this freakin' gun, it was also kind of cool. My brother has always been obsessed with guns, the military, etc. (he subscribed to Soldier of Fortune magazine as a pre-teen), so it's not surprising that he has this and other guns. But with the election of Barack Obama (or Doc Mama as Jack calls him) and his plan to renew the Federal Assault Weapons Ban, my brother and many others are stocking up on their beloved guns and rushing to get their concealed weapons permits. Although the Watkins family will not be doing this (except if you want to rob us, then we have an Uzi), I decided to write a little tongue-in-cheek tribute to my brother and his M4, followed by a sweet Watkins family M4 picture montage:

(Read this out loud with a George Bush-esque Texas accent)
Now that Doc Mama's El Presidente, he's gonna take away our rights to defend ourselves from the Redcoats. Look, if I want to have an M4 to defend my family and my property here in Lehi, Utah, and I want to be able to carry it under my trench coat with a silencer and laser scope attached, well then dammit, I got that right...the Constitution of the U-nited States of America says I can do it. Hell, if I want my 5 year old daughter to learn how to convert my semi-automatic weapon into a fully automatic weapon, then I got the right. Now, Doc Mama's gonna take away my guns! El Presidente is gonna renew the Federal Assault Weapons Ban! So all y'all Constitution lovin' Americans go out and git some before the gittin's gone.